You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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