I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
