I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Randomize
