my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Randomize
