Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
