She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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