I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
