HIV tests are more positive than that guy
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Randomize
