I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
