Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
