Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
