Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Randomize
