last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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