they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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