sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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