i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
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