Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
