So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
