I'm lost and stupid without you.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I need to calm my uterus...
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
