i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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