You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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