We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
