the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize