last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
