Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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