i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
