in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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