I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
