She's JV to your varsity
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
