The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
