I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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