I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
