Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
