Where are you?
In a non slutty way
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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