so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
