Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
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