Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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