speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Randomize
