How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
