In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
