i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
My vagina just recognized that song.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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