You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
