Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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