If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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