Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
