At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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