Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
