And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
