Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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