i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
